


Five things Rodney heard, but wished he hadn't, while having telepathy, and the one thing he was glad he did

by mckays_girl



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 5+1 Things, Adult Themes, First Time, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-09
Updated: 2007-04-09
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:59:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9993122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mckays_girl/pseuds/mckays_girl
Summary: Sometimes being able to read people's minds wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and sometimes it was





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to girly_curl_3 for the beta.

1)  
  
 _I wonder what the mess is serving for lunch,_ Radek mused.  
  
When Rodney turned around he was staring up at the clock. "What?"  
  
Radek blinked at him owlishly from behind his glasses. "I did not say anything."  
  
"Yes, you did. I distinctly heard you," Rodney accused.  
  
"Maybe you are working too hard," Radek replied. _Or you are crazy._  
  
"You little . . ." Rodney started and then realized he didn't see Radek's mouth move for the second statement. Clearly, Rodney **was** working too hard. "Let's get something to eat."  
  
"That is first thing you said that makes sense all day."  
  
"Ha, ha, very funny, Zelenka. Maybe you should quit your job and become a stand-up comedian," Rodney snapped, putting down the Ancient device he was fiddling with.  
  
Radek glared at Rodney and stomped off to the mess.  
  
***  
  
Rodney pushed his tray down the line, grabbing a sandwich, an apple and blue Jell-O before spotting the chocolate layer cake. He hummed happily as he stretched, reaching over to snatch the last slice.  
  
 _Wow, McKay has a really nice ass._  
  
Rodney spun around so quickly, the plate fell from his hands, dumping his cake on the floor. Radek was behind him, eyes focused low, on a certain part of Rodney's anatomy. "You . . . you," he stuttered, shaking a finger.  
  
Radek's eyes snapped up and he looked at McKay curiously. "You dropped your cake," he supplied helpfully.  
  
"Uh, suddenly I'm not feeling very hungry," he lied and fled the mess.  
  
Rodney's mind was in overdrive. He had paranoid visions of Radek watching him bent over a console, pants tight around the curve of his ass, ogling him. _Oh, god. Has he been staring at me all this time?_ He shuddered, skin crawling. The thought of Zelenka checking out his ass was seriously creepy.  
  
In the middle of his freak out, Rodney realized something important. "Holy crap, I read his mind!" he exclaimed.  
  
  
2)  
  
Rodney rushed to the lab, intent on finding out what he'd touched that imbued him with this newfound power. On his way, he bumped, literally, into Lieutenant Cadman.  
  
"Hey there, McKay," she said jovially.  
  
"Can't talk now, busy," he said, brushing past her.  
  
"What's the rush?" Laura asked to his retreating figure. _Wow, McKay has a really nice ass._  
  
Rodney froze and turned on his heels, gaping at her. "Oh. My. God," he groaned. "Not you too."  
  
"What are you talking about? You are so weird, McKay." Cadman shook her head with a hint of a fond smile tugging at her lips and wandered off in the opposite direction.  
  
Rodney practically ran to his lab and locked himself in. "What is wrong with everyone today?" He panicked, worrying about what kinds of filthy things that woman did to him when she hijacked his body. "Oh, god," he groaned. "She could have done anything." Rodney tried to remember if his ass had been sore when he had woken up naked in Cadman's bed, but he could only recall the burn in his calves and thighs from the long run she had taken them on.  
  
  
3)  
  
An hour later, Rodney ventured to his quarters. He knew he should probably tell someone about his predicament, but was still too disturbed by the situation. What if everyone was after his ass? That was a scary thought. He had almost made it to his room unnoticed when he spied Ronon, strolling through the hallway.  
  
"McKay," the larger man rumbled. "Wanna get some dinner?"  
  
"I, um . . ." Rodney studied Ronon nervously, watching for any signs of him trying to catch a glimpse of his backside. "Now's really not a good time," he finally spat out.  
  
Ronon shrugged, continuing past Rodney. "Suit yourself," he called over his shoulder. _Wow, McKay has a really nice ass._  
  
"Will everyone stop thinking that!" Rodney shrieked.  
  
Ronon raised an eyebrow and looked at Rodney like he was crazy. Maybe he was.  
  
4)  
  
Rodney was only able to spend ten minutes in blissful silence before his radio was chirping. He slipped the headset over his ear barking, "What?!"  
  
"Dr. McKay," Colonel Caldwell's voice echoed in his ear. "We're having some problems with the environmental control systems. Would you be willing to give us a hand with the diagnostics?"  
  
"Yes, fine." Rodney was sure no one on the Daedalus would be eyeing his ass. They were professionals, unlike certain members of his expedition. He rematerialized on the bridge of the ship next to Caldwell.  
  
"I appreciate you coming on such short notice, Dr. McKay," he said.  
  
Rodney waved him off. "Yes, yes. Now what do you need me to do?"  
  
The Colonel gestured to the console behind Rodney and he turned to look. "It's been giving us odd readings," Caldwell explained . . . _Wow, McKay has a really nice ass_ . . . "Power fluctuations that don't really make sense. Hermiod's been working on it, but we could really use your help."  
  
Rodney whirled around and stared in horror. "You have got to be . . ." He stopped, biting his tongue to prevent himself from finishing the sentence. There was no way he wanted to enlighten Colonel Caldwell, especially not in from of a group of Marine and Air Force personnel. ". . . diligent about these sorts of things," he recovered.  
  
Caldwell gave him a strange look. "That's why we called you, McKay."  
  
"Yes, um, I'll just get to work then," he replied meekly.  
  
  
5)  
  
The work wasn't difficult and Rodney was glad to be away from roaming eyes. Hermiod was easy to work with - quiet, meticulous and smarter than most of the monkeys he dealt with on a daily basis. He was on his knees, replacing the last crystal when he heard it.  
  
 _Wow, McKay has a really nice ass._  
  
Rodney stood up quickly, knocking his head on the console. Hermiod gave him a perplexed look as he backed away, rubbing the top of his head. The only thought zipping through his head was of Sheppard whispering, _Is he supposed to be naked like that?_ Which was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.  
  
"Is something troubling you, Dr. McKay?"  
  
"I, um," he stammered, stumbling over a toolbox. "I just remembered, I have a simulation running in the lab. Can you beam me back now? Please."  
  
"Of course," the Asgard replied.  
  
Rodney was sure he took one last sneak peek before dematerializing him.  
  
When he appeared back in his lab, Rodney scooped up the last device he had been testing and escaped to his room, determined to find the cause of his mind reading abilities before he was traumatized by one more person thinking about his ass. Reading minds sucked.  
  
  
  
  
  
1)  
  
Rodney sighed in frustration. He was sure this was the device that triggered the alteration to his precious brain, but he couldn't figure out how to make it work. The database was useless, only supplying minimal information. "Didn't the Ancients have anything better to do than make stupid artifacts without providing proper documentation?" he complained. "I mean, what kind of scientists were they?"  
  
A soft knock at his door dragged Rodney from his rant. "Who is it?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"It's Sheppard," came the muffled voice on the other side of the door. "Who else would it be?"  
  
"Fine, come in," Rodney huffed.  
  
The door slid open and Sheppard entered with two steaming MREs in his hands. "Dinner and a movie, right?"  
  
Rodney had forgotten he'd made plans with Sheppard. "Oh . . . yeah."  
  
John placed the food on Rodney's desk and pulled up a chair. "So," he began, "anything interesting happen today?"  
  
"No," Rodney said apprehensively, his voice cracking the slightest bit. "Why would you think something happened?"  
  
John raised an eyebrow. "Because we live in the lost city of Atlantis?" he said slowly.  
  
"Oh." Rodney shoveled a forkful of meatloaf in his mouth to give himself a chance to think.  
  
"Jeez, Rodney, what's with you? You're even more high-strung than usual. Are you sure nothing's wrong?" John put a comforting hand on Rodney's shoulder.  
  
Rodney jumped from his seat. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired. I haven't been getting enough sleep. No rest for the weary," he babbled.  
  
"Uh, huh. You about ready for that movie?"  
  
"Movie, yes. That would be great." Rodney grabbed his laptop from the desk and set it up on his dresser. Then he crawled onto the bed and was about to get himself settled, when Sheppard's voice penetrated his thoughts.  
  
 _Wow, McKay has a really nice ass._  
  
Finally being pushed to his limit, Rodney climbed off the bed and stalked over to Sheppard, who was just getting up from his chair. "If you're going to think thoughts like that, you sure as hell better act on them," he berated, wagging his finger and forcing John to back up into the wall.  
  
Sheppard's eyebrows jumped into his hairline. "Whoa, Rodney. What the . . ." The rest of John's words were swallowed by McKay's hungry kiss as he pressed against him, gripping his biceps. John fisted his hands into Rodney's shirt, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.  
  
Parting his lips, Rodney flicked out his tongue to taste John's mouth. Warm, wet, lush - he explored John, trying to memorize the feeling of John's tongue sliding sweetly alongside his.  
  
John moaned as Rodney insinuated a thigh between his legs, providing friction to his rapidly hardening cock. He nipped lightly at John's jaw, increasing the pressure as he trailed his kisses down to the collarbone. "You want my ass?" he asked, voice pitched low and intimate. Upon hearing John's sharp intake of breath he added, "You wanna fuck me?"  
  
"God, yes," John whispered, flipping them so that Rodney was against the wall.  
  
Rodney groaned as John rubbed their erections together. Clothes. There were too many layers of clothes. "Lube," he gasped. "Top right drawer."  
  
John pulled away and quickly retrieved the bottle, putting it within arm's reach on the corner of the desk. "Naked," he growled, reaching for the button on Rodney's pants.  
  
"Yes, yes, definitely naked," Rodney agreed, stripping off his shirt and tossing it to the floor. He reached down to help Sheppard, who was fumbling with his own pants. When they finally removed all of their clothing, John turned Rodney to face the wall, tugging his hips out further.  
  
John slowly caressed Rodney's ass, palming each cheek, and skimming his thumbs between the crease. "Beautiful," he murmured, sinking to his knees.  
  
"Sheppard . . . John . . . what are you . . . oh god." The first swipe of tongue sent shivers up his spine and completely melted his brain. Rodney widened his stance, giving John more access. "Oh, yes . . . like that."  
  
John teased the puckered hole, sweeping his tongue in concentric circles, spiraling towards the center before pushing in. Rodney made an incoherent sound and bucked backwards, his body seeking more contact. John gripped his thighs, steadying him and continued probing his opening, fucking him with his tongue.  
  
"Oh, oh, oh," Rodney whimpered, his voice climbing higher with each thrust of John's tongue. The tongue was replaced with a slick finger pushing past the relaxed ring of muscles. It had been awhile since Rodney had done this, but the slow burn eased as John stretched him.  
  
A second finger was added and the grip on his thighs had loosened, giving Rodney the opportunity to shove back, a counter-thrust to John's finger-fucking. "You look so hot like this," John breathed against his skin, planting reverent kisses on his ass cheeks.  
  
By the third finger, Rodney was getting impatient. "Will you get up here and fuck me already," he demanded.  
  
John catapulted to his feet, scrambling for the tube of lube and liberally coating his cock. His hands settled on Rodney's hips as he slowly pushed inside. "Rodney," he gritted out through clenched teeth. "God, Rodney." John inched his way inside until his balls were snug against Rodney, and then stilled. He took a few deep breaths, bending forward to mouth the nape of Rodney's neck.  
  
"John," Rodney whined, his arms flexing as he braced himself on the wall. "Come on, John. Move!"  
  
"Pushy much?" John teased, gently drawing out before slamming back in.  
  
"Yes," Rodney hissed, clenching around John's cock.  
  
"If you keep doing that, it's gonna be over pretty quickly," John informed him, his grip tightening on Rodney's hips.  
  
"Just do it, Sheppard," Rodney commanded.  
  
John began fucking Rodney in earnest, pounding into him at a frenzied pace, grazing Rodney's prostate with each sweet stroke.  
  
"Aahh," Rodney keened, shoving back to meet John's thrusts. He knew that he'd be sore in the morning, but he didn't care. He wanted this, needed it. Looking down at his neglected cock bobbing between his legs, Rodney contemplated how he was going to jerk himself off without toppling them both to the ground.  
  
John was grunting behind him, low and guttural, making Rodney crazy with desire. He couldn't stand it any more; he had to come now or he would explode. "Touch me," he begged.  
  
A hand wrapped around his cock, firm strokes bringing Rodney closer and closer to the edge. "John," he groaned, pleasure pooling low in his belly. He came with a startled cry, pulsing over John's hand.  
  
John continued to fuck Rodney, increasing his speed until he finally came, filling Rodney's ass with warm fluid. "Rodney," he murmured, draping himself over Rodney and circling his arms around his waist.  
  
"Arms," Rodney mumbled, pushing off the wall. He winced when John slipped out of him.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
They cleaned themselves up in the bathroom, avoiding each others' eyes. When they finally did look at each other it was awkward. "So, um," Rodney said weakly.  
  
"Sleep?" John asked, a smile playing on his lips, telling Rodney everything he needed to know.  
  
"Yeah." They climbed under the covers, curling around each other. As he drifted off to sleep, Rodney smiled to himself. Being able to read minds wasn't so bad after all.

  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.wraithbait.com/viewstory.php?sid=11486>  



End file.
